*Take a Breath*

“The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the dominance of outward conditions.”
-Robert Louis Stevenson

I finished reading "The Happiness Project" today. While reading, I have signed up for every possible blog, club & list that the author provides. Through one of those subscriptions, an email arrived with this quote. Funny. I was just driven to blog about this topic. Instead of returning my library book today. I just might crack it open & start over. (I'm also still adding her suggested readings list to my GoodReads account).

I felt a bit of a rant coming on over some friends' facebook posts these last few days. It's back to school time & surely my anxiety level is acquiring some of the teacher jitters. But - with all of those jitters & all of the thoughts & emotional pain that travels through me each day, I often want to jump through the computer & scream PERSPECTIVE!!! Even more rattling, face to face conversation gives me this urge often too. There is certain strength in taking a breath & adhering to my own advice - but in a calmer tone. Perspective, Erin.

In some of the most stressful individual situations, I believe the easiest & most reprehensible act is to place BLAME on others. Most specifically to place blame on large groups, business, establishment or organizations. Unfortunately, it seems that this is an acceptable trend in our culture today.

For example - (I'm going to do my best to steer clear of all examples that set me off today. I love my friends & they need not be like me or be judged by me in order to be their best. Disclaimer over...well...maybe a few "similar" things that made me squirm.)
-A child does not do well in a school assignment- consequently the school sucks or the teacher doesn't know what she/he is doing.
-A doctor's appt is running late - that particular doctor is THE WORST.
-A store is out of a product. - The store never has ANYTHING!

I think you can catch my drift. (Hey! I did a good job at using non-examples.)

It takes particular strength to be understanding. Especially in a stressful situation. It is rewarding though. Rewarding enough to change this current culture of blame. Excuses are the pits.

Maybe this makes me seem like a push-over, but really - it makes me happy, content & feeling like a good person. It also provides an example for Calvin. I'm still striving to be the mom I wanted to be when Avery was born.

Ah! I can't resist!...Please do not feel defensive or the need to justify. I've stewed & I understand - these are stressful and necessary outbursts through others' perspectives. But often the backlash is hurtful to others.

-Teacher assignment letters - If your neighbor gets theirs & you don't get it until the next day. - Your school knows what they're doing. There are a gazillion letters to go out, they may have sent them all at once, but there may have been a postal employee on vacation, sick or dealing with an emergency. Maybe your letter was a bit delayed because there was a last minute move into the district or some other change. Really?! It is not life-changing, life-altering or awful. Practice patience & understanding. Explain that to your kid too. It's an opportunity for growth for both of you.

-Doctor's appointments & procedures can be late for many reasons. Not at all, in most cases, having to do with the poor performance of a medical team, but quite the opposite. Perhaps their services were needed emergently for another patient whose condition is worse than yours. Perhaps there was another preparation that they wished to make for your treatment. Maybe there was a personal issue requiring their attention. There are situations way worse than your own & if you were that much worse case, you would be appreciative of the extra attention. Explain this to yourself or to someone waiting with you. It's a powerful observation.

I do my best, day to day, not to pull the "if only my kid had the chance card..." & not here either. Really this is an epidemic of blame. I may have come to these conclusions & behaviors without 2 childhood cancer battles under my belt, but maybe I wouldn't have the confidence to communicate them. Be thankful for the little things you have because those little things could be HUGE to the person on the other side of the room. Who are you to take away what they have?