*Awesome*

OK. I have a serious issue with sarcasm. I use it well & often. In the teachers' handbook for my student teaching assignment back in the dark ages of 2001, there was actually a "rule" saying that teachers would not use sarcasm in the classroom. - I had a slight panic attack & then continued my journey. I break rules all of the time. I generally just don't like being told what to do. Sarcasm is part of my personality (& pretty much what allows me to be a high school teacher - all of my favorite (arguably BEST) teachers were sarcastic.)

My go to sarcastic phrase is simple - "Awesome." Some examples -

*Calvin - Mommy, me pooped in the yard (this truly happened last year. Judge if you must)
Me - Awesome.

*Daily comment from co-worker - Erin, you just spilled coffee on your shirt
Me - Awesome

*Me arriving for a long-awaited kid-free shopping trip without my wallet. "Awesome"

*The student comment section to this example chart would be too extensive for blogging - I will save that for a book deal some time in the future. And I could get fired for using such examples here....awesome.

This word has been haunting me today. In an effort to be a proud onco mommy, I was embarking on a tedious project to raise awareness for Childhood Cancer. (sarcastic). Ok, I was thinking of changing my profile picture to a picture of Nolan since Avery was my profile picture yesterday. I was on the iPad & like the AWESOME person that I am, I do not have a picture of Nolan on that glorious device (not sarcastic, I freaking LOVE that thing!) to upload as my profile pic. Unlike other mommas, I can just google my kids & download a picture to use. Of course THE video came up on the search &...I watched it. Awesome. (sarcastic)

So it's 7 a.m.-ish & all of the healthy people of the Perkiomen Valley are jogging/walking/biking by as I sit on the back porch & cry. Sweet. (My second favorite sarcastic spasm.) Calvin was loving the part with him & Nolan moving around. **Calvin, please don't ask to watch it again** Phew! Why should I cry alone? Instead of changing my profile picture today, I'll share THE VIDEO (this is said with a deep, scratchy, scary voice) as my Childhood Cancer Awareness outreach today, 9/2. I have a bad habit of assuming everyone knows the tale of Momma Gloom. So...those who know-won't watch & those who don't-will know soon enough. I should have looked at the YouTube hit count this morning.

That sucker got shared all over the place today. Rah Childhood Cancer Awareness! Go Avery & Nolan. Oh! And everyone is telling me how awesome I am. Awesome. (sarcastic, remember?)

When it comes down to it, I'm no more awesome than the next girl. I try to be amazing & a bit of a rule breaker because it is super fun, challenging & a little rebelious. I don't like it when people tell me what to do so I like to make my own way. Unlike student teaching, there's no written rule that says that a mom with 2 dead kids can't be fun, but there are some unwritten rules & misconceptions out there that I like to rebel against. I like to have fun, I like to help others, I like having friends, I like meeting new people & I like going places & doing stuff. Look at me! I'm just like everyone else! (So much for rebellion.) But the unwritten rule is that I would be best suited for a life-long sentence of staring at the wall. Not THIS momma! No way. I have things to do & coffee to spill.

I appreciate all of the kind words that are sent my way. My close friends are reminding me that they love me (thank you. I love you more!), friends of my close friends are reminding me that they love me because their friend loves me & some people I don't know & I will not try to figure out their motives. Let's just assume that they are sane & well-intentioned (please do not reignite the stalker, please do not reignite the stalker, please do not reignite the stalker). Today I am even more thankful for my "you are awesome" messages. First, my friend, Cat, provided this -

Bahahaha! This I love. I didn't ask for this awesome. I caught it from my kids. It's hard to explain.

And then, some less than empathetic comments emerged about THE VIDEO (remember to make the voice!). Conclusion. I would rather be uncomfortable in owning my Awesome diagnosis (see above) than having my kids' lives & my life described as "brutal". THE VIDEO isn't brutal. It made you cry. I am very sorry. Really, I don't enjoy making myself, my family, my friends or strangers cry. THE VIDEO is beautiful. It shows my AWESOME kids & people who love them. It's a true story & it's our story & if that diagnoses me with Awesome or infected with Awesome or A.W.E.S.O.M.E. + (did you get that?! Pretty funny, right?!), so be it.


***Nerd Alert! - In an effort to overuse Awesome today & get more comfortable with accepting it - I did a Pinterest search of "Awesome". Do it! It was fun.**