*let 'em grow*

There are many things that I wish I knew how to do well. Due to my lack of knowledge about them, I just avoid trying. One of my biggest issues with this is any sort of plant. Yes, yes - acres of sunflowers. Not my doing. There's a combination of Weirman/Curtis work to get that going. Calvin & I did plant one thing this year. Carrot seeds.

I know one rule about planting. You're supposed to plant the week following Mother's Day. So, Calvin & I did just that this past May. Just a few carrot seeds in un-disced earth. We just dug up the dirt a little & threw the seeds in. We watered them a couple times (o.k. maybe once) & he was able to harvest quite a few carrots throughout the Summer months.

I need to take a lesson from Cal's carrots. Even though the Weirman/Curtis combo warned of my misadventure in carrot planting - Cal's carrots were pretty impressive. I need to continue to try things even when I am not over-informed or overprepared. Next year I am hoping to plant even more food. I don't know why I was so hesitant. What's the worst that will happen? They won't come up. Who's really going to care? And if it works. We can all enjoy it. At least we'll know that we tried. (As I feel guilty for all of the seeds I still have - all pretty in their packages.)

The same needs to go for the landscaping that I wish so much to try, the Master's Degree that I am so secretly & utterly passionate about, the writing I want so badly to pursue & the continued growth that I hope to have the courage to continue.

After so long in the fog of trauma, depression & awful anxiety - everything seems to be clearing. Ironically, clarity comes with additional anxiety, but I'm getting better at working with all that crazy heart pounding, heavy feet & spinning.

Those carrots took way longer to grow than I had anticipated. I'm glad we gave them a chance. Now, let's see how long it takes me to do the same?