*being grateful*

After a week & some odd days of not being able to find this dear library book - my desperate last-ditch attempt at searching the entire house AGAIN yielded great reward. I have been having a bit of a fast from reading because I really just wanted to continue with this one. I'm often slave to searching for lost items. It's a gift. I can lose anything. Only at the most inconvenient times of course. Murphy's Law. I'm thinking of adding my photo to that Wikipedia page.

I had a wicked cold this past weekend. It was probably more than just a cold (it's still lingering), but what's the point of knowing whether I am truly febrile or not? Especially during a long weekend. I can pretty conveniently keep my germs to myself. In a suffocating amount of snot & uncharacteristic lethargy, I somehow moved the couch at a significantly different angle than the first 50 times I looked under there & my book emerged. Lay in bed, read, nap. Lay on the couch, read, nap. Lay on the hammock, read, nap. (I use the term nap loosely. Recall my dear Calvin. He can let his dad sleep, but not the momma...I did fall asleep briefly enough for my dad to come inside to let me know Calvin was hanging out the window yelling at him. Relax. First floor window. All's good - no need to disturb me. I'm sick.)

My motivation to read A.J. Jacobs' "The Year of Living Biblically" came from Gretchen Rubin's "Happiness Project". I recorded an entire list of recommended readings & cites from her book. I really loved it & this is proof. I am so out of my league in religious knowledge. I love reading & gaining new knowledge. I especially love reading about other people's experiences in learning. NERD ALERT!

I implemented (semi-successfully) a schedule/routine after reading "Happiness Project". (Note dirty dishes downstairs & outfits unplanned as of yet) I am intrigued by A.J. Jacobs' enjoyment of giving thanks through daily prayer. I realized today how incredibly weird (& nerdy) my own thankful personality may be. I know as a consequence to loss & in hopes of coping with anxiety, I am constantly reminding myself of all the greatness that surrounds me.

Great friends, a wonderful home, great family, great kids, general health (stupid Rhinovirus!), job, book concealing couch...the list goes on & on. This can be counterproductive. The big anxiety-provoking thoughts that could probably be tended to & eliminated get pushed to the side by my extreme coping in positivity. Lack of inspectable vehicle, inability to pay certain bills, pile of clean laundry unfolded & never put in its place, Calvin's overdue well check, final kitten lingering in my bedroom awaiting to be sent to its new home, library books captured by my couch...the list goes on & on.

I'm grateful for so much so I definitely do not feel the need to add - think about being thankful - to my daily to-do list, but I am super curious as to how ANYONE can get through a day without acknowledging the good? I know I'm still picking up pieces of a shattered life, but is it so easy for others that there isn't a need for being grateful? Do I seem like a naive brat for always erring on the side of "it could be worse"?

If I had the discipline to embark on a year-long immersion writing project I wonder what it would be? Get my crap together in 12 months? Not looking good. I've been working on that for forever. I shall ponder. In the meantime/distract myself from doing some sort of getting my crap together, I'll sit here & think of how proud I am of myself for returning all of my library books on time & then spoil myself with some coffee & reading while snuggling a snoozing Crazy Calvin. It's a tough habit to break.